I don’t know what’s more impressive, that this walrus can suck his own wiener, or that he can deep throat the whole thing. Though personally, I’m put off by their tusks and whiskers. -Thanks to Mike for the tip.

DAILY CIRCLE JERK LINKS

• Uproxx feature: Five things only an idiot would spend money on thanks to the internet. |Uproxx|
• Uproxx feature: Six silent badasses. Is that different from an SBD? |Uproxx|
• “Burrito the Golfing Chihuahua.” That is all. |WarmingGlow|
• Patton Oswalt is writin’ a comic book, y’all. |GammaSquad|
• Professional athletes probably shouldn’t be allowed to do karaoke. |WithLeather|
• Remembering Corey Haim. Let’s face it, he was the better Corey. |InsideMovies|
• Meet the erotic garbage man. |Urlesque|
• The five most metal moments in Detroit Metal City. |ComicsAlliance|
• Five more awesome gifs from the Oscars. |UnrealityMag|
• Storm Troopers are just like us. |screenJunkies|
• 25 visual puns. |HolyTaco|

Thanks to Spazmodic for the picture.

I have to write here. I have to catch up on French homework. I have to catch up on my Second Language Acquisition course homework too. I’ve got a book I need to finish reading because I’ve got four or five others I’m dying to get to. I’ve still got two DVDs I received for my birthday that I’ve not yet viewed and a couple others I purchased last month I’ve yet to watch. Plus I’ve got two from Netflix* gathering dust. Meanwhile that novel isn’t writing itself.


One thing I’ve learned in life is that, generally speaking, you can only do one thing at at time. You prioritize. I’ve got my French class in a couple of hours so must do a little work for that first. But there all those blog posts I’ve planned that are sitting around in my brain waiting to be written. Believe me, this isn’t one of them. What you’re reading now is my sorry attempt to make myself feel better about not having written much lately. 


I know, I’m quite a lucky man to have such a rich life with books, movies, classes, studies and the like to fill my hours. So I’m not really complaining (Really? Then what are you doing?). 


I have some deeply profound things to say and some really silly ones. I’ve got wry observations to share and pithy remarks and well thought out concepts to explore. I’ve got suggestions, rejoinders, bon mots, comments, ravings, diatribes, opinions, facts, data,  and information to pass on. I’ve got a lot to say and no time in which to say it.


I’ve got more to learn, more to explore, more to consider, more to wonder about and more to be exposed to. I’ve got more to watch, listen to, feel and contemplate.


I want to surmise, suppose, speculate, spout, state, shout, suggest, spew, send and sermonize.

I want to conceptualize. I want to create. I want to conjure. No time! Conundrum!


I want to share. With you, dear reader. And those of you with blogs of your own (you know who you are). I want to catch up with what you’ve been saying. So many smart, interesting, entertaining, amusing, insightful people out there with so much to say. You inspire! You illuminate! You galzanie! You imbue! You excite! You inflame! You influence and you provoke. No joke.

I want to write me and read you (huh?).


I want to go back and time and watch Novak and Hitch (pictured above) on the set of Vertigo (1958).


I want to satisfy anyone whoever stumbles across this blog that though I write for me I think of you. When I’m not going on about nothing/everything (like today) I often have an insight or two about films. I’m so thrilled that some people have watched and enjoyed films based on my blatherings. 

I’ll be back with more and better soon. For my sake. For your sake. “For the sake of the children!”

I leave you now (to finally get to my French) with this film quote: “I’ve got to stay here, but there’s no reason why you folks shouldn’t go out into the lobby until this thing to blows over.” – Groucho Marx in Horsefeathers (1932).


* Yes, I’m with Netflix now, our locally owned video store went out of business. More on that another time.

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The director of ‘Thirteen,’ ‘Lords of Dogtown’ and ‘Twilight’ will next helm a gothic adaptation of ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ for Warner … Read more

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• ABC is new with Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice
• CBS is new with Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains, CSI, and The Mentalist
• FOX is new with American Idol and Kitchen Nightmares
• NBC is new with Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office, 30 Rock, and The Marriage Ref
• CW has repeats of Vampire Diaries and Supernatural
• Bravo is new with part two of the reunion on Real Housewives of Orange County and Real Housewives of New York City
• Comedy Central is new with Important Things With Demetri Martin, The Sarah Silverman Program, The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, and The Colbert Report
• Lifetime is new with Project Runway and Models of the Runway
• MTV has a repeat of 16 and Pregnant, and is new with America’s Best Dance Crew and Taking the Stage
• VH1 has repeats of 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs, Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew, and Sober House With Dr. Drew
• Late-night highlights include Dana Carvey, Kim Kardashian, and Colbie Caillat on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno on NBC; Donald Trump on The Late Show With David Letterman on CBS; Nicole Richie on Jimmy Kimmel Live on ABC; Ozzy Osbourne, Kendra Wilkinson, and Hank Baskett on Lopez Tonight on TBS; Holly Hunter and Ryan Bingham on The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson on CBS; Michael Moore and Broken Bells on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon on NBC; and Lake Bell and David Gray on Last Call With Carson Daly on NBC

Hollywood loves a good case of yin and yang when it comes to playing matchmaker. Case in point: this Friday’s She’s Out of My League which pairs a perfect 10 dream girl named Molly (Alice Eve) with a nerdier counterpart who ranks at more of a five, Kirk (Jay Baruchel). Before those two try their luck at love, perhaps they should borrow a tip or two from these unusual onscreen pairings who tested the dating odds.